Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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