Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
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