the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
This is the high leading the old right now
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
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