hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The Olympian is in my bed
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
