we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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