And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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