My hair reeks of homosexuality.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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