As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
