next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
