Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
That accounts for only three of the penises
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
