She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize