i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
