girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
