i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
