That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
