alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Text me some of your sweat
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
