when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
