He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
