hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
