I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
