yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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