Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
