This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
