Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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