I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
