used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
