my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
