Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Text me some of your sweat
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
