I feel great
I just peed on a car
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
