you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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