after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
