We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
