Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
