you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
