That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
