i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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