At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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