So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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