my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
