I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
