You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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