When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
