We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
