Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
