His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
