My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
