You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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