Your mouth is God's brothel.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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