My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
