Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
