I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
